Uncle Rico

I realize that it's been awhile, but rest assured, I've been on plenty of dates. Not all of them have been blog-worthy (maybe I've raised my standards), but here is one that I knew I was going to write about as soon as this guy opened his mouth. Uncle Rico seemed to have his shit together. He has a great job, a house, more than one vehicle, season tickets to the Chiefs, what more could a girl ask for? 

This date started out well enough. We went to dinner and a had decent conversation to start. Then somehow he started talking about "kids these days." He went on a 30 minute tirade about how kids are lazy now and how they are "soft." All of his evidence for this, by the way, was from his ex-fiancé's sons. This led to a NINETY minute reminiscing session of "the good ol' days" of when he was in high school. I learned that he was the captain of the football team, he always stuck up for the kids getting bullied, he was the Chuck E. Cheese mascot, he surfed on top of a car. It never seemed to end. To add insult to injury, the ENTIRE time he is looking down & off to the side, never once making eye contact.  It was like he was visualizing himself in his prime, off in his own little world. As we got up to leave, I was walking behind him. I look down and notice that he has bedazzled jeans on! The ass of his jeans have a pattern with some jewels! Those were never cool on guys, even in the 1990s.

Time of death: When he said he voted for Trump.