I went out with 3 guys in one week! Yes, you read that correctly----3 guys, 1 week! I am not made for this! It has definitely cut into my Olympics viewing. You may be thinking, "Well this is all fine & good, but what is to come of these suitors?" I'm glad you asked! I will write about these one guy at a time as opposed to chronologically.
Guy #1-AKA The Dumb One or The Picky Eater (I haven't decided on his nickname yet)
As you can tell from his name, this is not going to end well. This guy is cute & definitely my usual type as far as looks go. Our first date (oh yes, we go on two) is to GoJo's. He picks this place & even goes early so that we avoid any forecasted wintry weather. He said that he has been there before & really liked it. So we get our menus & he comments on how the chicken teriyaki looks really good. Out of all of the choices on the menu, you're going with chicken teriyaki? OK. So our soup comes out & he eats a few sips of it. We have an OK conversation. He talks about traveling to Mexico & South America, but admits that he doesn't have a passport. He also pronounces Madrid, MAY-drid. I overlook this because I'm not a horrible person. Our salads come out & he passes on the salad because he's "not a vegetable person." Next comes our shrimp appetizer. You guessed it, he doesn't like shrimp. Don't worry, I do, so I ate his! I then learn that he is a truck driver & is only home on the weekends. This wouldn't be entirely bad, as I am usually pretty busy during the week. Then I look at his cute face again & think this may still work! When our full meal is in front of us I notice that he is only eating the chicken, no rice, no vegetables, nothing but chicken! I have a ton of food leftover so I box mine up & his as well because he isn't going to eat the vegetables or rice. (I had 2 full days of leftovers!) He comments on how full he is and pats his belly. We hug & I agree to a 2nd date because he's cute & owes me tacos.
Throughout the week I get texts with horrible grammatical & spelling errors. I guess it makes a little more sense now that I know that he drives the night shift, but still. One morning I'm awakened to, "When are we going out again?" Well good morning to you too sir! Anyway, he let me pick the taco place. I asked if he would like authentic tacos or Tex-Mex tacos & he said that it doesn't matter. I do a little research & find a hipster type taco place in the River Market area. I've never been there, but it had pretty good Yelp reviews, so I suggest it. He says that works for him. So we meet there & I check out the menu. The waitress comes over and asks if we're ready. "I am if you are," he says. "OK, go ahead," I reply. "I'll take 3 ground beef tacos." HOLY SHIT! I somehow manage to not crack up at this point.
"We don't have ground beef tacos here. The only beef we have is carne asada."
"Well I guess I'll take those." He looks at the menu. "Uh, no onions though."
"No cilantro either? Anything else?"
"You can throw some cheese on there."
So basically, you wanted Taco Bell tacos without lettuce????? You should've said you wanted Tex-Mex. Maybe he didn't know what authentic tacos were. Who knows! Anyway our conversation is OK, but nothing great. He comments on how much he hates weddings & how he would NEVER sit through a Catholic wedding. Well alrighty then. Luckily he texts me after our date about Date #3 & I politely decline.
Time of Death: Honestly, after he pronounced MAY-drid
Guy #2-AKA The Boring One or The Hip(ster)
I don't know why I can't choose nicknames for these people! I should've known this wasn't going to go well when he messaged me that he needed my number because his "personality doesn't come across very well in writing." SUPER! We agree to meet to have coffee. I get there a little early & the barista would really like to take my order, so I go ahead & get my own chai tea latte. He comes right on time & I tell him that I already ordered. "Uh, can I get it for you." "No, it's right here. I already paid. Don't worry about it." (Mentally I am now thinking that he owes me dinner.) The place is kind of crowded & he sits right next to me. Usually this would annoy me, but since it's packed I'll let it slide. The conversation does not come easy between us. I can tell he is nervous. I learn that he has just started a new job because he physically couldn't be a chef anymore. You should know that I like food, so this is very appealing to me! I also learn that he is counting macros & sees a special trainer. (Why am I currently attracting guys with food issues???) After about an hour of forced conversation we part ways & I am still wanting a dinner. He's super considerate and texts me immediately saying what a good time he had. On Valentine's Day he texts, "Happy Valentine's Day! May I take you out for dinner this weekend?" This was followed by pictures of 2 dozen red roses. Well who is going to say no to such chivalry? Not this chick!
We meet up at a Mediterranean restaurant that he says is his favorite. We have the usual small talk & then he tells me that he has had both of his hips replaced. "Like an old person?" "Yeah, no one has ever said that to me out loud, but yeah, exactly like that." He then goes through all of his limitations & I immediately think that if this goes further I'm going to throw his new hips out of place! I can't handle that on my conscience. He talks about books & is very sincere & kind & a great speller. All of these are fantastic qualities, however, there is definitely no spark there. We had some silences during our meal, and if you actually know me, I rarely am without words. So he hasn't texted me after this date. Maybe he's ghosting me. That would be fine with me because I certainly haven't texted him either.
Time of Death: Date #1 of awkward silences
Guy #3-The Adult
I'm not going to say too much about this guy because as of right now, I actually like him. He is 5 years older than me, has a real job, a real house, wanted to pick me up on our first date (no I didn't let him), and seems super interested in me. Our first date was to get sushi and there wasn't a lull in our conversation at all. We're going out again tomorrow & also have plans for Friday. He also said that he didn't want to be in this blog! Sorry! In the words of one of my friends, "Don't fuck this up!" I'll do my best!
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