The Razorback

I finally had date #1 of Spring Break tonight-St. Patrick's Day (the reasons for the delays will come in later posts).  We will call him The Razorback.  I don't know if any of you have that one guy that you "keep in your back pocket" so to say.  You know, the one you can call/text whenever and he'll go out with you or go to a function with you & if you really wanted him to, he'd sleep with you.  The Razorback is that guy for me.  This sounds bitchy, but I texted him for the sole purpose of meeting my quota for the week.  

Going out with The Razorback is what I imagine mother's feel like during child birth after they've already had one kid-I always think it sounds like a great idea at the time, but I've forgotten how painful it is.  "Maybe this time it will work." "Why have I not talked to him in so long?"  All of these things run through my head anytime I am single for a bit.  So I text him & just like a little puppy dog, he's right back sniffing my butt.  And then we meet up again and it all comes flooding back & I remember EXACTLY why I never go out with him more than 2 times a year.  

The Razorback & I met when I first delved into the on-line dating world.  This was probably 8 years ago or so.  He was so frustrating!  We e-mailed & texted constantly for about 3 months and he never asked me out.  My co-workers (yes the same ones that made the Coolest Chick in the World sash) had a pot going for when he would finally ask me out.  It was the running joke of our staff meetings.  Finally after a solid 3 months of continuous e-mails & texts we set up a date.  The day finally comes and I don't hear from him as much as usual that day.  I text him before I start to get ready to confirm the time and he says that he forgot about his nephew's baseball game & wants to go to it.  Now more confident women would've told him to hit the road after all this jerking around, but not me!  We finally reschedule another date about a month later & have an awesome first date! Woo hoo!

Then he starts to get annoying (as if he wasn't already).  The Razorback starts telling me how I should do my job, how I should spend money, what kind of car to drive.  He thinks he is the expert on EVERYTHING.  Then he starts making dates that involve me going shoe shopping with him, even though he already has the shoes picked out.  He literally just asked me out because I lived near the shoe store he wanted to go to!  That date was the end of our relationship.......for the time being.  

However, when we are just e-mailing/texting The Razorback is very attentive.  He responds in a timely manner & is always very complimenting.  After being alone for awhile, The Razorback starts to sound good again.  Wouldn't it be nice to have someone to talk to?  It sure is nice to have someone compliment you on a regular basis.  Then I get lured back in & go out with him again.  This has happened off & on for the past 8 years.

Tonight's date was no different.  He still knows everything & is also the BEST at everything.  Now little things about him are starting to annoy me-the way his shoulders are always up & it makes him look like he has no neck, the way he laughs with a hee hee (who actually laughs like that?), and the way his lips look when he says some words.  He went in for the kiss, I gave him my cheek.  I think this may be the end of The Razorback, but who knows when I will get needy again.  For right now, time of death-7:55 pm.