Before we begin, yes, I know it's been a long time! I've been in kind of a dating drought. I'm going to blame it on not having every waking moment free like I did during the summer. Thank God for Tinder to get me out of my slump!
The Best Boyfriend in the World got his title because in one of our conversations he informed me that an ex had given him this nickname & even got him a trophy that said "Best Boyfriend in the World." (I feel like "Coolest Chick in the World" is a much better nickname, but I digress.) Anyway, when they broke up she actually stole the trophy back from him! So now he's just a Former Best Boyfriend in the World....or is it like the Oscars and you are always "Oscar Winner Three 6 Mafia" for "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp" from Hustle & Flow? Anyway, BBW (Ha! That's totally going to be his nickname now!) thinks pretty highly of himself. He volunteers for a lot of organizations, is SCUBA certified, is currently training to be an EMT, & runs a very successful business. On paper/Tinder it sounds great! But there is nothing more annoying to me than thinking your shit doesn't stink. I hate to say this, but he perpetuates every horrible Blue Valley stereotype there is. I don't really need to know that when you went to get your Mercedes fixed that the mechanics are dressed like scientists.
BBW not only thinks very highly of himself, but he is very loud when talking on the phone. Now, I've been worried about this myself, because I'm a loud person in general. However, my friends have assured me that I don't sound like I am yelling into the phone. I had a friend listen to a message he left me & she immediately said, "NO! No, I can't listen to that." I took that as a challenge. Our first actual phone conversation (I really don't like talking on the phone that much by the way, but made an exception for this guy) was basically him trying to find out every statistic that is on my driver's license. I'm not even kidding. "So how tall are you?" "Your hair looks light brown is that right?" "What color are your eyes?" "Do you wear glasses at all?" I was about to tell him that I was an organ donor also, but he didn't ask. Then his line of questionning got a little more personal. "What's your best feature?" "Are you a physical person, like touchy feely?" I answered his inqusition to his liking apparently because he wanted to get a foot massage & I agreed. Well BBW has allergies & they were acting up so no date that weekend. I actually hadn't heard from him in a long time (and by long time I mean 5 days) & I was beginning to think that maybe having hazel eyes was a turn off.
Then out of the blue I hear from him this week. He still is very loud & very much into himself & talks about many of the same subjects his covered last week. Every time we talk, he asks me about different restaurants I've been to. Most of said restaurants were covered in a previous conversation, but hey, maybe he has early onset Alzheimer's. He brings up AGAIN that he has a coupon book to Drunken Fish. Then suggests that we meet there, because hey, he has this coupon book. It is at this point where he begins to NOT act like he is from Overland Park. Never one to turn down a free meal, I accept.
I will say, the date wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be. He is a very engaged listener & looks right at you while you are talking (which I find annoying), but does show that he's paying attention. After finding out that I teach primarily Hispanic students he asks if we get Cinco de Mayo off. Ummm....1) Cinco de Mayo is not a real Mexican holiday. 2) I work in a school district that is not solely Hispanic. 3) We get regular American holidays off because this is America. He seemed a little shot down when I rattled off these facts to him. During the conversation he has already volunteered to go on a field trip with us (not going to happen) & asked about going for a couple's massage (again, not going to happen). When the manager brought back his coupon that he used & told him to just go ahead & use it again his face lit up like a kid at Christmas! This guy loves a bargain! "But Single," you might be saying, "this guy sounds like he handles money well & has plenty of it. We know you like money." This is all very true, which is why I'm happy to announce that I am going to let him buy me dinner next weekend too! Let's hope he hits up Groupon so we can go to somewhere fancy in Leawood! Time of death: As soon as those coupons run out!
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Saturday, July 5, 2014
The Giant
It's been a bit since my last post & some of you probably thought I fell off the face of the earth. I went on a short trip to visit an old flame, but now I am back on the dating scene again. Today I went on a very interesting date with The Giant. The Giant is 6'5"....yes I wrote that correctly. He is 6 feet 5 inches tall. Automatically---I'm interested! (I now apologize to all of my tall friends who have a hard time finding guys that are taller than them.) The Giant is very different from most of the guys I have been out with. For one, he wouldn't give me his phone number. He said that he doesn't give out his number to people he hasn't met. I'm thinking he's been cat fished before. Also, he only wanted to "get coffee or ice cream." He clearly did not want to pay for an entire meal. I get it, why waste time on a meal if you can tell right off the bat that this person isn't going to work out. Trust me, I've been on several dates (as you well know) that could've ended in the first 5 minutes. I think it's an interesting move though. He didn't want to meet up for drinks some night, no, we met up for ice cream in the afternoon.
The Giant was initially going to be one of my 5 dates of Spring Break. It took this long to actually meet up! We haven't been e-mailing all of that time, but still! His excuse for not meeting during Spring Break was that he was going to be out of town for a few weeks & it "wasn't fair" to me for him to be gone that long. Uh, OK. A couple of weeks ago The Giant is back on the prowl & hits me up. Again he asks me out for "coffee or ice cream" & I accept. I mean hey, I need to get out of this slump! The Giant's pictures are all pretty far away & involve him out in nature. If you know me at all, nature & I are not friends. I wasn't too excited about this date, but I was ready to hop back on the saddle.
The Giant made it to the ice cream shop before I did. He stood up as I was walking in & whoa, this dude is tall! And even more exciting, CUTE! We got our ice cream & started to chat about the normal things. He told me his name, but now I've forgotten it, because I was so taken away by his height! (This could get awkward down the road.) We talk about vacations & jobs (I don't really understand what he does). He is really into "camping" in KOA cabins. He also LOVES to take road trips. I can't stand either one of these things. Another different thing about The Giant is that he maintains continuous eye contact. This really annoys me, but he's so cute & smells so good, I don't even care. Since I'm going on vacation next week, we agree to e-mail when I get back. Yes, that's right, I don't know his name & I don't have his number. So odd----yes, but I'm willing to maybe have an actual meal with the cute Giant. Time of death: The minute I step foot in the wilderness with him
The Giant was initially going to be one of my 5 dates of Spring Break. It took this long to actually meet up! We haven't been e-mailing all of that time, but still! His excuse for not meeting during Spring Break was that he was going to be out of town for a few weeks & it "wasn't fair" to me for him to be gone that long. Uh, OK. A couple of weeks ago The Giant is back on the prowl & hits me up. Again he asks me out for "coffee or ice cream" & I accept. I mean hey, I need to get out of this slump! The Giant's pictures are all pretty far away & involve him out in nature. If you know me at all, nature & I are not friends. I wasn't too excited about this date, but I was ready to hop back on the saddle.
The Giant made it to the ice cream shop before I did. He stood up as I was walking in & whoa, this dude is tall! And even more exciting, CUTE! We got our ice cream & started to chat about the normal things. He told me his name, but now I've forgotten it, because I was so taken away by his height! (This could get awkward down the road.) We talk about vacations & jobs (I don't really understand what he does). He is really into "camping" in KOA cabins. He also LOVES to take road trips. I can't stand either one of these things. Another different thing about The Giant is that he maintains continuous eye contact. This really annoys me, but he's so cute & smells so good, I don't even care. Since I'm going on vacation next week, we agree to e-mail when I get back. Yes, that's right, I don't know his name & I don't have his number. So odd----yes, but I'm willing to maybe have an actual meal with the cute Giant. Time of death: The minute I step foot in the wilderness with him
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
The Cowboy
The Cowboy wins the prize for quite possibly the WORST date I've ever been on.....if you're a regular reader of this blog you know that that's really saying something. I should've known from our texting conversation that it was going to be bad, but I rarely turn down a free meal. He talked about really odd things, i.e. having trouble talking to girls, reliving high school & how much he hated it (he probably has a hit list), and his odd college roommate. If I remember correctly this guy was from Tonganoxie-another red flag. (I apologize if any of my readers have any allegiance to Tongie. By that I mean that I apologize that you actually have any allegiance to Tonganoxie.) The Cowboy suggests that we go to Dave & Busters. At this point in my dating career I had already been to Dave & Busters with Baldy from You're the Coolest Chick in the World fame; so yet another red flag is waving.
I get to Dave & Busters first so I get us a table. I should probably say at this point that my pictures on-line are very true to life. I don't like surprises & I would hope that others would feel the same way. When the Cowboy came up to the table in a big gold belt buckle (thus his name) I could tell this was going to end badly. He for sure had a gun rack on his Ford F-150. I never saw his truck, but I KNOW he had one! I have never had someone blatantly look me up & down & have such a look of disgust. I mean the worst face I've ever seen. If I cared more I may have been hurt, but I just found it humorous. We then ate in almost complete silence. AWKWARD! If you know me at all, you know that I am rarely quiet. This guy couldn't even look me in the face. (I'm probably on his hit list now!) After we finished eating & he paid, he said, "I'm going to go play some games? Are you coming?" I shit you not! That is a direct quote! If this happened today I would've gotten out of there....wait, who am I kidding, this makes for a good blog post. I'd still go. Needless to say, I accompanied him.
We went down to the gaming area & The Cowboy bought a card. Without any discussion he went to the Skee Ball area. He swiped his card & then put it in his pocket. I stood behind him & watched in silence. The game was over, he took out his card, swiped it & then put it back in his pocket again. This went on for about 5 rounds until he was apparently done with Skee Ball. He then, again without a word, went to one of those machines that pushes coins off the edge of a table. He gets out the card, swipes it & then puts it away. As I'm sure you know, common Dave & Busters etiquette is to swipe your card for the girl & then yourself. It's really about buying 1 card to save Mother Earth. Obviously, I was supposed to buy my own, but at this point I was almost laughing out loud at the ridiculousness. After his card expired, without uttering a word the ENTIRE time, he cashed in his (very small) amount of tickets. I can't remember what he bought, let's pretend it's some sort of weapon. He then walked out the door with me following behind like a little duckling. We got to the parking lot and he said, "Bye." Ha! AMAZING! Worst date ever! Time of death: the minute he stared me up & down.
I get to Dave & Busters first so I get us a table. I should probably say at this point that my pictures on-line are very true to life. I don't like surprises & I would hope that others would feel the same way. When the Cowboy came up to the table in a big gold belt buckle (thus his name) I could tell this was going to end badly. He for sure had a gun rack on his Ford F-150. I never saw his truck, but I KNOW he had one! I have never had someone blatantly look me up & down & have such a look of disgust. I mean the worst face I've ever seen. If I cared more I may have been hurt, but I just found it humorous. We then ate in almost complete silence. AWKWARD! If you know me at all, you know that I am rarely quiet. This guy couldn't even look me in the face. (I'm probably on his hit list now!) After we finished eating & he paid, he said, "I'm going to go play some games? Are you coming?" I shit you not! That is a direct quote! If this happened today I would've gotten out of there....wait, who am I kidding, this makes for a good blog post. I'd still go. Needless to say, I accompanied him.
We went down to the gaming area & The Cowboy bought a card. Without any discussion he went to the Skee Ball area. He swiped his card & then put it in his pocket. I stood behind him & watched in silence. The game was over, he took out his card, swiped it & then put it back in his pocket again. This went on for about 5 rounds until he was apparently done with Skee Ball. He then, again without a word, went to one of those machines that pushes coins off the edge of a table. He gets out the card, swipes it & then puts it away. As I'm sure you know, common Dave & Busters etiquette is to swipe your card for the girl & then yourself. It's really about buying 1 card to save Mother Earth. Obviously, I was supposed to buy my own, but at this point I was almost laughing out loud at the ridiculousness. After his card expired, without uttering a word the ENTIRE time, he cashed in his (very small) amount of tickets. I can't remember what he bought, let's pretend it's some sort of weapon. He then walked out the door with me following behind like a little duckling. We got to the parking lot and he said, "Bye." Ha! AMAZING! Worst date ever! Time of death: the minute he stared me up & down.
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
The Vacuum
Sorry I've been a little absent lately. You would think with all of this rainy weather I would have ample time to update, but I had to watch the new season of Orange is the New Black. (It's REALLY good BTW!) So between that, House of Cards & finally telling Mr. Darcy that there was no romantic connection, I've been a little busy. For this post I decided to bring back an oldie-The Vacuum. Oooh you say, this name sounds enticing. Do not be deceived! His real name is the same as a vacuum company. :)
I literally went on one actual date with The Vacuum, but our relationship lasted a lot longer than simply one date. Our one & only real date was at Cheeseburger in Paradise (I tend to have bad luck there). We hit it off & had a great time. Not even a week later The Vacuum informs me that he got a new job in the lovely mecca known as Branson! If I was half as intelligent as I claim to be this would have been the end of The Vacuum, but I feel that you should know by now that I am a glutton for punishment. We continued our relationship via text. He was hilarious & it really felt like we were dating without actually going out on a date. We discussed meeting up again, but he always had an excuse for not traveling up to KC. In a very uncharacteristic move, I decided to drive down to Branson for President's Day weekend. (It should be noted that I HATE road trips! I once flew to St. Louis to avoid driving there.) As we are planning out the trip the sleeping situation arises. As it turns out, although The Vacuum has 2 bedrooms, he only has 1 bed. Ooooh, Single in KC might actually get some action. You should know better than that by now!
I decided to drive down on Saturday morning instead of Friday night since driving is one of my least favorite things anyway. I finally find his townhouse & text him that I had arrived. I get my bag out of the car & am greeted at the door with, "Hey!" He then proceeds to sit down in his recliner and continue watching golf. We make some small talk & he asks how the drive was all the while my bag continues to sit next to me on the couch. I had already planned to go to Mass while I was down there & checked out the time & directions (You didn't see that coming did you?) & I had 2 hours to kill. I figured that we would do some catching up, but apparently golf was more important. As Mass time gets closer I finally ask where I should put my bag. "Uh, I guess you can put it in my room." Well OK then. I freshen up & head out the door. As I'm driving I wonder what I had gotten myself into. After more contemplation, I decide that he may just be nervous & that's why it's been awkward. We had plans to get sushi (my first time) for dinner. We made the trip up to Springfield since it is an actual city. He showed me how to order & eat sushi (for which I am grateful) and then didn't have any big plan for afterwards. We drove for a little bit around Springfield & then headed back to his place. The Vacuum had an extensive movie collection & he so graciously let me choose what we watched. I honestly can't remember what I picked, but the important thing is that he continued to sit in the recliner. Translation-no snuggling during the movie. Well now it's bed time. The Vacuum has a queen sized bed (thankfully!). I changed in the bathroom & came to bed. He was already in bed & facing the wall. I face the other way & try to go to sleep. After about 10 minutes of contemplating my life choices in general I hear a sound that would wake the dead. The Vacuum is snoring! This is not normal snoring. This is guttural primal animal noise snoring. I have NEVER heard this kind of snoring today. Seriously, I think he needs that Darth Vader mask thingy. The incessant snoring continues for the next 30 minutes. I nudged him, kicked him & wanted to suffocate him. (This was in fact our most intimate moment & he doesn't even know about it.) After no relief I decide to go sleep on the couch. The pure silence was amazing & I fell asleep instantly.
I woke up first & decided to stay downstairs-I didn't want to expose myself to that noise again. When The Vacuum came down he asked how I slept on the couch. "Well anything was better than listening to your snoring." "Sorry." He then made some eggs for breakfast. He asked what I had planned for the day. Luckily I did have plans to do some outlet shopping! I asked if he wanted to go too. He said that he would go if I wanted him to. Honestly, I just wanted some alone time. On the drive into Branson I called my BFF & vented. We were both really confused about everything & I decided I needed some retail therapy. After buying a Coach purse & a dress for an upcoming rehearsal dinner (always the bridesmaid & never the bride) I felt pretty good. I decided to get lunch while I was out shopping & I let him know so he wasn't waiting around. When I got back to his place it was mid-afternoon. I showed him my purchases & then we watched some TV. As dinner time rolled around he suggested that we have frozen pizza. The dinner of champions everyone! We sit down, me on the couch him on the recliner, and watch yet another movie. When the weather comes on I see that there is a chance of snow in the morning. I am planning on leaving ASAP in the morning, but driving in the snow freaks me out. When sleepy time comes he asks if I am going to come to bed. I inform him that I will just sleep on the couch again. He says he'll wake me up when he leaves for work so I can get up & moving to drive home. He does as promised & finally leaves for work. I let out a huge breath and feel the most comfortable I have the entire weekend as soon as he leaves. Now I had brought a gift for him for letting me stay at his place during my "vacation" & I really ponder whether or not I should leave it. My inner conscience gets the best of me & I leave the gift with a much nicer note than I should have. As my luck would have it, it has already started snowing when I leave, but there is no way in hell I am staying in Branson another day! I then make the long (and slow due to the weather) drive of shame back home. Time of death: 8:45 pm Unfortunately I then had to lay with the noisy corpse!
I literally went on one actual date with The Vacuum, but our relationship lasted a lot longer than simply one date. Our one & only real date was at Cheeseburger in Paradise (I tend to have bad luck there). We hit it off & had a great time. Not even a week later The Vacuum informs me that he got a new job in the lovely mecca known as Branson! If I was half as intelligent as I claim to be this would have been the end of The Vacuum, but I feel that you should know by now that I am a glutton for punishment. We continued our relationship via text. He was hilarious & it really felt like we were dating without actually going out on a date. We discussed meeting up again, but he always had an excuse for not traveling up to KC. In a very uncharacteristic move, I decided to drive down to Branson for President's Day weekend. (It should be noted that I HATE road trips! I once flew to St. Louis to avoid driving there.) As we are planning out the trip the sleeping situation arises. As it turns out, although The Vacuum has 2 bedrooms, he only has 1 bed. Ooooh, Single in KC might actually get some action. You should know better than that by now!
I decided to drive down on Saturday morning instead of Friday night since driving is one of my least favorite things anyway. I finally find his townhouse & text him that I had arrived. I get my bag out of the car & am greeted at the door with, "Hey!" He then proceeds to sit down in his recliner and continue watching golf. We make some small talk & he asks how the drive was all the while my bag continues to sit next to me on the couch. I had already planned to go to Mass while I was down there & checked out the time & directions (You didn't see that coming did you?) & I had 2 hours to kill. I figured that we would do some catching up, but apparently golf was more important. As Mass time gets closer I finally ask where I should put my bag. "Uh, I guess you can put it in my room." Well OK then. I freshen up & head out the door. As I'm driving I wonder what I had gotten myself into. After more contemplation, I decide that he may just be nervous & that's why it's been awkward. We had plans to get sushi (my first time) for dinner. We made the trip up to Springfield since it is an actual city. He showed me how to order & eat sushi (for which I am grateful) and then didn't have any big plan for afterwards. We drove for a little bit around Springfield & then headed back to his place. The Vacuum had an extensive movie collection & he so graciously let me choose what we watched. I honestly can't remember what I picked, but the important thing is that he continued to sit in the recliner. Translation-no snuggling during the movie. Well now it's bed time. The Vacuum has a queen sized bed (thankfully!). I changed in the bathroom & came to bed. He was already in bed & facing the wall. I face the other way & try to go to sleep. After about 10 minutes of contemplating my life choices in general I hear a sound that would wake the dead. The Vacuum is snoring! This is not normal snoring. This is guttural primal animal noise snoring. I have NEVER heard this kind of snoring today. Seriously, I think he needs that Darth Vader mask thingy. The incessant snoring continues for the next 30 minutes. I nudged him, kicked him & wanted to suffocate him. (This was in fact our most intimate moment & he doesn't even know about it.) After no relief I decide to go sleep on the couch. The pure silence was amazing & I fell asleep instantly.
I woke up first & decided to stay downstairs-I didn't want to expose myself to that noise again. When The Vacuum came down he asked how I slept on the couch. "Well anything was better than listening to your snoring." "Sorry." He then made some eggs for breakfast. He asked what I had planned for the day. Luckily I did have plans to do some outlet shopping! I asked if he wanted to go too. He said that he would go if I wanted him to. Honestly, I just wanted some alone time. On the drive into Branson I called my BFF & vented. We were both really confused about everything & I decided I needed some retail therapy. After buying a Coach purse & a dress for an upcoming rehearsal dinner (always the bridesmaid & never the bride) I felt pretty good. I decided to get lunch while I was out shopping & I let him know so he wasn't waiting around. When I got back to his place it was mid-afternoon. I showed him my purchases & then we watched some TV. As dinner time rolled around he suggested that we have frozen pizza. The dinner of champions everyone! We sit down, me on the couch him on the recliner, and watch yet another movie. When the weather comes on I see that there is a chance of snow in the morning. I am planning on leaving ASAP in the morning, but driving in the snow freaks me out. When sleepy time comes he asks if I am going to come to bed. I inform him that I will just sleep on the couch again. He says he'll wake me up when he leaves for work so I can get up & moving to drive home. He does as promised & finally leaves for work. I let out a huge breath and feel the most comfortable I have the entire weekend as soon as he leaves. Now I had brought a gift for him for letting me stay at his place during my "vacation" & I really ponder whether or not I should leave it. My inner conscience gets the best of me & I leave the gift with a much nicer note than I should have. As my luck would have it, it has already started snowing when I leave, but there is no way in hell I am staying in Branson another day! I then make the long (and slow due to the weather) drive of shame back home. Time of death: 8:45 pm Unfortunately I then had to lay with the noisy corpse!
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Twinkie
I'm sorry for the delay in posting. I've been super busy with the end of the school year here. Fear not, the summer is here & it's time for my dating life to heat up! Quick update on Mr. Darcy, we've been on 2 dates and are currently planning Date #3. We'll see how it goes. I think he may start to get boring. I know, I know, I just can't be happy with anything!
Back to the story at hand-Twinkie. Twinkie got his name because he worked for Hostess when they were bringing the Twinkie back to the masses. Most of this story makes me sound like an idiot, but I really do believe his story. Twinkie was a short stout bald man. He actually looked like he belonged on The Sopranos. So imagine my surprise when I first heard him talk & he had a soprano voice. (You see what I did there?) Anyway, he was actually from one of the Carolinas....let's say North Carolina. He was recruited from Hostess to help in the reproduction of the Twinkie. (I actually know the Twinkie part is true because he sent me a box of the new Twinkies way before they were released to the public.) So Twinkie would fly back home to NC every weekend (lucky it was summer time so this wasn't a problem for me). Before you even say it, yes, I thought he possibly had another family at home-wife, 3 kids, dog, the whole enchilada. Hostess was also apparently paying for this commute which seems highly unlikely to me, but whatever.
Our first date was at Fogo de Chao. Yes, you read that correctly. A first date at an all you can eat Brazilian steakhouse. In case you were wondering, that's 3 out of 4 dollar signs according to Google. I waited for 15 minutes for Twinkie because he was still in a meeting (Twinkies are very important business). Luckily the wait staff was friendly. When Twinkie finally arrived & opened his mouth I was a little shocked to say the least. He commented on me going for the "teacher look" today. Apparently any time you wear a cardigan, you are trying to look like a teacher. We basically just talked about his job & bringing back the Twinkie. He had never eaten a Twinkie & I told him that it was a must! He wasn't very exciting, but I liked having that much money spent on me on a first date, so I agreed to see him again.
Since his job was so demanding & he was traveling back to NC every weekend, it was a couple weeks before his schedule was clear enough to meet up again. In between dates we continued to text & he wanted me to come swim in the pool of his hotel. Sorry buddy, not happening after one date. This time he wanted to go to Michael Smith Restaurant. This is yet another 3 out of 4 dollar signs. I didn't feel comfortable going to yet another super fancy restaurant, so I suggested Manny's. We met up & he got some sort of shrimp salad. Who orders that at a Mexican restaurant? Someone with tons of money to spend! Once again the conversation lulled, but again I was lured in by the thoughts of all the cash this guy had. We texted a bit after that & then one day he just stopped texting. I also didn't text him, so maybe he is still waiting for me to text him back. I like to think that Twinkie's wife finally caught on to his philandering ways & made him stay in the Carolina. Time of Death: 10:45 pm.
Back to the story at hand-Twinkie. Twinkie got his name because he worked for Hostess when they were bringing the Twinkie back to the masses. Most of this story makes me sound like an idiot, but I really do believe his story. Twinkie was a short stout bald man. He actually looked like he belonged on The Sopranos. So imagine my surprise when I first heard him talk & he had a soprano voice. (You see what I did there?) Anyway, he was actually from one of the Carolinas....let's say North Carolina. He was recruited from Hostess to help in the reproduction of the Twinkie. (I actually know the Twinkie part is true because he sent me a box of the new Twinkies way before they were released to the public.) So Twinkie would fly back home to NC every weekend (lucky it was summer time so this wasn't a problem for me). Before you even say it, yes, I thought he possibly had another family at home-wife, 3 kids, dog, the whole enchilada. Hostess was also apparently paying for this commute which seems highly unlikely to me, but whatever.
Our first date was at Fogo de Chao. Yes, you read that correctly. A first date at an all you can eat Brazilian steakhouse. In case you were wondering, that's 3 out of 4 dollar signs according to Google. I waited for 15 minutes for Twinkie because he was still in a meeting (Twinkies are very important business). Luckily the wait staff was friendly. When Twinkie finally arrived & opened his mouth I was a little shocked to say the least. He commented on me going for the "teacher look" today. Apparently any time you wear a cardigan, you are trying to look like a teacher. We basically just talked about his job & bringing back the Twinkie. He had never eaten a Twinkie & I told him that it was a must! He wasn't very exciting, but I liked having that much money spent on me on a first date, so I agreed to see him again.
Since his job was so demanding & he was traveling back to NC every weekend, it was a couple weeks before his schedule was clear enough to meet up again. In between dates we continued to text & he wanted me to come swim in the pool of his hotel. Sorry buddy, not happening after one date. This time he wanted to go to Michael Smith Restaurant. This is yet another 3 out of 4 dollar signs. I didn't feel comfortable going to yet another super fancy restaurant, so I suggested Manny's. We met up & he got some sort of shrimp salad. Who orders that at a Mexican restaurant? Someone with tons of money to spend! Once again the conversation lulled, but again I was lured in by the thoughts of all the cash this guy had. We texted a bit after that & then one day he just stopped texting. I also didn't text him, so maybe he is still waiting for me to text him back. I like to think that Twinkie's wife finally caught on to his philandering ways & made him stay in the Carolina. Time of Death: 10:45 pm.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Mr. Darcy
Finally, a decent date! Mr. Darcy is originally from England. Yes he still has his accent! Mr. Darcy is by far the kindest person I've been on a date with lately (that isn't really saying much, but still). He is very supportive & writes very long text messages. They are full of proper English grammar-maybe that's the turn on? He also uses the word "brilliant" in every day conversation. What's not to like?
Our first date (yes I said first because we are going out again this weekend) was to First Fridays. This is basically a huge art show in the Crossroads District. We decided to meet early for drinks & food (in that order) before we perused the art.
Guys, I hope you're taking notes because this is how it's done. Here are some quotes from various text messages (please read in a proper British accent): "My bad. I may have confused you. Blame is all mine."
"Please know that I'm very much looking forward to seeing you."
"I'm a little ahead of schedule, but don't worry. I found parking on 17th & Cherry. Don't stress, but parking is at a premium. If you find a spot, get it. Please drive safely, don't speed & take your time."
I could get used to someone this considerate. Might it get boring at some point? Maybe, but I'm definitely enjoying it so far.
Now back to the date. He literally got the last available table at the bar. We chatted for a couple hours-basically I just wanted to listen to him talk. We checked out some art, made fun of some art & walked a ton. He said that he would've bought me a memento of our date, but the one piece of art I wanted was $45,000 and that was "just a touch" out of his price range. Definitely a highlight of the evening was when we were checking out art in this one "studio". As we were touching the art (yes we could touch it!) he said, "I believe this is a dentistry." Shut up! "No really, I'm not pulling your leg. I think it's a dentistry." Sure enough! We walk 2 more feet & there is a dentist's chair! So I learned a new word & picked up some floss! I'm glad I can finally blog about a good date, but the story isn't as good as the crappy ones. For that I apologize. Time of death: Alive & kicking (literally, because he plays football AKA soccer!)
Our first date (yes I said first because we are going out again this weekend) was to First Fridays. This is basically a huge art show in the Crossroads District. We decided to meet early for drinks & food (in that order) before we perused the art.
Guys, I hope you're taking notes because this is how it's done. Here are some quotes from various text messages (please read in a proper British accent): "My bad. I may have confused you. Blame is all mine."
"Please know that I'm very much looking forward to seeing you."
"I'm a little ahead of schedule, but don't worry. I found parking on 17th & Cherry. Don't stress, but parking is at a premium. If you find a spot, get it. Please drive safely, don't speed & take your time."
I could get used to someone this considerate. Might it get boring at some point? Maybe, but I'm definitely enjoying it so far.
Now back to the date. He literally got the last available table at the bar. We chatted for a couple hours-basically I just wanted to listen to him talk. We checked out some art, made fun of some art & walked a ton. He said that he would've bought me a memento of our date, but the one piece of art I wanted was $45,000 and that was "just a touch" out of his price range. Definitely a highlight of the evening was when we were checking out art in this one "studio". As we were touching the art (yes we could touch it!) he said, "I believe this is a dentistry." Shut up! "No really, I'm not pulling your leg. I think it's a dentistry." Sure enough! We walk 2 more feet & there is a dentist's chair! So I learned a new word & picked up some floss! I'm glad I can finally blog about a good date, but the story isn't as good as the crappy ones. For that I apologize. Time of death: Alive & kicking (literally, because he plays football AKA soccer!)
Friday, April 25, 2014
The Doctor
I should preface this post with the fact that I never went out with The Doctor, therefore this post should prove that I do have standards. On paper, this guy sounds like a catch-34, pediatric liver doctor, cute. But you can't trust paper!
Initially The Doctor is a fairly good texter. I can understand a doctor's crazy schedule. In fact, it's even better because I get time to myself. So I don't begrudge him the fact that he is rarely available. This guy is such a douche bag to talk to though, I can't even make myself go out with him-even for journalistic purposes!
Our first conversation begins with him saying, "Hey giiiiiiirl." I should've just stopped him right there. Then he tells me that his profile gives the wrong age. No biggie. He is really 29. Oh God! I haven't gone out with someone with a 2 in the tens place in a long time! But hey, he's a doctor. It should be alright. Wait a minute, how does a doctor screw up the year he was born on an on-line profile. Already The Doctor is shady! He was constantly asking what I was doing at about 9:00 at night. I'm sorry buddy, but I'm tired. This old lady needs her beauty rest. Other conversations (I'm using this term loosely) begin with "Hey baybay" or "Sup buttercup?" WTH! Oh wait, it gets worse. Actually talking on the phone with him is painful. He informs me that he has an eidetic memory so that "makes getting into an argument with him nearly impossible." Great! Just what I need! I get to hear his life story which involves him being a social outcast in grade school because he was so bored & smarter than all of his teachers. (You can tell he's earning bonus points with me!) He got tested & didn't come out as gifted (I'm shocked), but he's just so smart! He didn't really have many friends until high school (shocker!) because people just didn't understand him. After a few more phone conversations, he starts basically quizzing me on things I have said. I have a pretty good memory (that's why I'm able to juggle a couple of guys at a time) & I'm correcting him! Eidetic memory my ass!
He also told me about several dates he had been on in the past. In one date, he was apparently having a horrible time & his date kept talking about a guy she used to go out with. When the waitress came by he slipped her his number & told her to save him from his horrible date. The waitress called him & they went out after her shift. I'm pretty sure he "remembered" that from a movie. He also informed me that he is sick of girls saying that he is basically the perfect guy, but that they just can't deal with his schedule. First of all, I have a hard time believing that anyone would say he is the perfect guy. He then said, "Well I can't fix my schedule, but at least I'm not ugly like you." I said, "You actually said that to someone! What the hell is wrong with you?" "It was true." "Wow!"
The final nail in the coffin came a few days later. He was in between shifts & was texting me. He said, "Do you want to chat?" I didn't want him to text & drive, so I called him. No answer. I texted back, "Well, I guess you didn't want to talk to me." "I don't have time for ur mind games. Do u want to talk right now or not?" Whoa there buddy! I did call, you didn't answer. "I don't have a missed call." I don't know what to tell you. "Well this is the last time I'm going to try to get you to hang out with me." Don't bother! Time of death: 4:17PM
Initially The Doctor is a fairly good texter. I can understand a doctor's crazy schedule. In fact, it's even better because I get time to myself. So I don't begrudge him the fact that he is rarely available. This guy is such a douche bag to talk to though, I can't even make myself go out with him-even for journalistic purposes!
Our first conversation begins with him saying, "Hey giiiiiiirl." I should've just stopped him right there. Then he tells me that his profile gives the wrong age. No biggie. He is really 29. Oh God! I haven't gone out with someone with a 2 in the tens place in a long time! But hey, he's a doctor. It should be alright. Wait a minute, how does a doctor screw up the year he was born on an on-line profile. Already The Doctor is shady! He was constantly asking what I was doing at about 9:00 at night. I'm sorry buddy, but I'm tired. This old lady needs her beauty rest. Other conversations (I'm using this term loosely) begin with "Hey baybay" or "Sup buttercup?" WTH! Oh wait, it gets worse. Actually talking on the phone with him is painful. He informs me that he has an eidetic memory so that "makes getting into an argument with him nearly impossible." Great! Just what I need! I get to hear his life story which involves him being a social outcast in grade school because he was so bored & smarter than all of his teachers. (You can tell he's earning bonus points with me!) He got tested & didn't come out as gifted (I'm shocked), but he's just so smart! He didn't really have many friends until high school (shocker!) because people just didn't understand him. After a few more phone conversations, he starts basically quizzing me on things I have said. I have a pretty good memory (that's why I'm able to juggle a couple of guys at a time) & I'm correcting him! Eidetic memory my ass!
He also told me about several dates he had been on in the past. In one date, he was apparently having a horrible time & his date kept talking about a guy she used to go out with. When the waitress came by he slipped her his number & told her to save him from his horrible date. The waitress called him & they went out after her shift. I'm pretty sure he "remembered" that from a movie. He also informed me that he is sick of girls saying that he is basically the perfect guy, but that they just can't deal with his schedule. First of all, I have a hard time believing that anyone would say he is the perfect guy. He then said, "Well I can't fix my schedule, but at least I'm not ugly like you." I said, "You actually said that to someone! What the hell is wrong with you?" "It was true." "Wow!"
The final nail in the coffin came a few days later. He was in between shifts & was texting me. He said, "Do you want to chat?" I didn't want him to text & drive, so I called him. No answer. I texted back, "Well, I guess you didn't want to talk to me." "I don't have time for ur mind games. Do u want to talk right now or not?" Whoa there buddy! I did call, you didn't answer. "I don't have a missed call." I don't know what to tell you. "Well this is the last time I'm going to try to get you to hang out with me." Don't bother! Time of death: 4:17PM
Latino Heat
Sometimes you just have to go out with a guy because he's hot, muy caliente if you will. Latino Heat was definitely HOT! He knew 4 different languages and had a sexy accent. His skin was dark. His hair was dark & curly in a sexy way. I obviously can't stress his hotness enough.
Before our first date he said that he had picked up something for me that reminded him of me. I was very curious as to what that could be since he really didn't know me & I hadn't gotten a gift on a first date in a LONG time! On our first date I learned how he got to America & where he had lived-pretty much all over. This was very intriguing to me. I honestly could've just listened to him reading the menu. As we were leaving he gave me the gift. I just glanced at it & thought it was white chocolate since I told him I didn't like milk chocolate. I went to a friend's house after the date to dish about it & looked a little more closely at the gift. It was actually 3 disks of soap that were in the shape of angels. They stunk! I then looked a little closer & I'm pretty sure he picked them up at an airport store. Classy! Like I said, I could've listened to him talk about any topic in that sexy accent......until Date #2!
Latino Heat was HORRIBLE at picking date places. This may have been because he was fairly new to town-OK I'll give you that. It took us 2 hours of texting to figure out what we were going to do for Date #2. Finally I suggested going to an outdoor theater. Then came the discussion of what we would eat. For some reason, he did not understand the concept of bringing food to the theater to eat like a picnic. I just chalked it up to cultural differences. After another hour or so of figuring the eating situation out, we had a plan! We drove separately to the theater (a blessing in disguise, believe me!) & met up at the ticket booth. We chose a nice spot on the grass & began our picnic. As we are eating we begin discussing the previous week. I had a few moles removed that week & I was telling him about it. He then says, "Did your doctor tell you that was necessary?" Well, she suggested it, so I figured they needed to be removed. "Well did the doctor tell you how to prevent that in the future?" Ummm, they're hereditary & I need to continue to use sunscreen, why? "I just don't think it's necessary." Why? "Well in my job the molecules can fix it. Everything can have the molecules transformed by the vibrations." Excuse me? "My job has basically cured cancer." WHAT? Why hasn't this made the news? "The drug companies won't benefit." So you're telling me that you have cured cancer. "Yes. Many of my patients have no problems at all. We cure every disease. You just set the machine to the right vibrations." Is this some freaky alternative medicine stuff? "I don't like the word freaky. It's just science!" Luckily the show started & it was cold so I had an excuse to get the heck out of there! I don't care how hot you are, hotness doesn't cure crazy!
Time of death: 8:53PM
Before our first date he said that he had picked up something for me that reminded him of me. I was very curious as to what that could be since he really didn't know me & I hadn't gotten a gift on a first date in a LONG time! On our first date I learned how he got to America & where he had lived-pretty much all over. This was very intriguing to me. I honestly could've just listened to him reading the menu. As we were leaving he gave me the gift. I just glanced at it & thought it was white chocolate since I told him I didn't like milk chocolate. I went to a friend's house after the date to dish about it & looked a little more closely at the gift. It was actually 3 disks of soap that were in the shape of angels. They stunk! I then looked a little closer & I'm pretty sure he picked them up at an airport store. Classy! Like I said, I could've listened to him talk about any topic in that sexy accent......until Date #2!
Latino Heat was HORRIBLE at picking date places. This may have been because he was fairly new to town-OK I'll give you that. It took us 2 hours of texting to figure out what we were going to do for Date #2. Finally I suggested going to an outdoor theater. Then came the discussion of what we would eat. For some reason, he did not understand the concept of bringing food to the theater to eat like a picnic. I just chalked it up to cultural differences. After another hour or so of figuring the eating situation out, we had a plan! We drove separately to the theater (a blessing in disguise, believe me!) & met up at the ticket booth. We chose a nice spot on the grass & began our picnic. As we are eating we begin discussing the previous week. I had a few moles removed that week & I was telling him about it. He then says, "Did your doctor tell you that was necessary?" Well, she suggested it, so I figured they needed to be removed. "Well did the doctor tell you how to prevent that in the future?" Ummm, they're hereditary & I need to continue to use sunscreen, why? "I just don't think it's necessary." Why? "Well in my job the molecules can fix it. Everything can have the molecules transformed by the vibrations." Excuse me? "My job has basically cured cancer." WHAT? Why hasn't this made the news? "The drug companies won't benefit." So you're telling me that you have cured cancer. "Yes. Many of my patients have no problems at all. We cure every disease. You just set the machine to the right vibrations." Is this some freaky alternative medicine stuff? "I don't like the word freaky. It's just science!" Luckily the show started & it was cold so I had an excuse to get the heck out of there! I don't care how hot you are, hotness doesn't cure crazy!
Time of death: 8:53PM
Sunday, April 6, 2014
"You're Not Impressing Me!"
By the title of this post you can already tell this guy is going to be a d-bag. You are not mistaken. This guy is my first Tinder date. What is Tinder you ask? Tinder is an app that was originally created (I'm sure) to find people who are relatively close to you that want to hook up. The app has kind of evolved into a dating app as well so I decided to try it out. I saw that the Olympians in Sochi were using it & by God, if it's good enough for Olympians, it's good enough for me! Here is how the app works. You set a distance boundary & it uploads some profile pictures from Facebook. Then you get a whole bunch of guys that come up and you either hit the X or the heart. The X would mean you aren't interested and the heart obviously shows your interest. If the guy hits the heart on your picture you are matched up & can send messages to each other. It's as easy as that. The downside to this app is that you literally know nothing about the person, i.e. job, children, etc. You only know that you are both attracted to each other. Come to think of it, this is really no different than meeting someone at a bar or anywhere else really. I guess I'm just used to on-line dating and knowing a little more about people to filter some out. Yes, surprisingly, I do filter people out---though you can't tell this by some of the people I've gone out with. :)
I get matched up with this guy, we'll call him Gru (the reason why will become apparent soon) & we start to chat. Gru works for a security company & really likes talking on the phone. I am not a big fan of chatting on the phone, I'd much prefer to text. I can get a lot more done while texting than I can while talking on the phone. I'm sorry, but much like the car dealer, my time is valuable. So we continue to text & we have some things in common. Then Gru starts sending sad little texts every once in awhile saying, "Call me?" So I throw him a bone sometimes and actually call him. He chides me for not wanting to talk saying, "Oh God, I'm so sorry I actually want human contact. I'm such a jerk!" He's being a smart ass, but deep down I know it annoys him. We set a date for St. Patrick's Day & I am starting to look forward to it. About a week before the date, Gru starts to get a little weird. One night I go out with a friend (who is a girl, not that it matters) and don't respond to his texts. He accuses me of having a date (little does he know I have 5 planned for the week) and not wanting to spend time with him. Uh what? He says that he really likes me and I'm already starting to have an effect on him. Then I get a pitiful, "Call me?" text. OK fine. I call him and we chat for a little bit. I then tell him that I have some work to do & would rather text when he blurts out, "Well consider our date off." What? Are you serious right now? Because I won't talk to you? "I'm not joking. You're not impressing me." Excuse me? "You're not impressing me at all. Consider the date off." Uh, no problem ass hat! I didn't say that last line, I just hung up.
Spring Break of Dates is a bust & fast forward to last week. I get a Tinder message from Gru. I glance at it & all I see is "giant cock." WTF! Then I read the whole message-Soooo, I was a giant cock. Well that's better. I thought he wanted to do some crazy sexting or something! I reply back that I'm glad he's seen the error of his ways. He blames his shitty attitude on work stress & what not. I understand work stress, but you don't have to be an asshole. Anyway, he is apparently in a much better place & wants to start over. Being the glutton for punishment that I am, I agree. I only got one pity "Call me?" text & I was already in bed, so too bad! Gru had to unexpectedly work from midnight until 8:00am on the day of our date. He was so excited to see me though that he didn't cancel. I got to the establishment first so I went ahead and got us a table. I wait around for about 10 minutes or so and in walks Gru. Boy was I in for a surprise! This was the first time that a date really looked nothing like their picture. Gru is a big bald man (I do like a good bald man!) with absolutely no facial hair except for his humongous eyebrows! The guy in the picture had cute stubble. I've never seen facial hair transform someone so much. This guy looked like a mix between Gru from Despicable Me (without the nose) & the eagle Muppet! (You're pretty impressed I figured out how to link those words to web-sites aren't you.) He also had on a t-shirt that was too big, jeans, & dirty white tennis shoes (you know the kind every guy has for mowing that has green all over them) without the mowing green since he lives in an apartment. This seems to be a trend now with guys coming in without making much of an effort. I must say, I looked cute. I always put forth the effort because, you never know, he could be THE ONE. After I get over the shock that I am about to have lunch with a cartoon character, we settle in to conversation. About 15 minutes in I begin to smell the distinguishable smell of feet. He keeps yammering on about his job & what he was doing from 12-8am and all I can do is smell feet! It really starts to ruin my appetite. I look down just to make sure he hasn't kicked off his dirty shoes right in the middle of our lunch (he hadn't). I try to ignore the smell and we have some more witty banter. I chide him for not caring if he has Pepsi or Coke, he teases me for accidentally squirting him with my tomato. As we leave, I go in for the side hug (I don't want to smell like feet!) & he reaches around for the full body hug. AWKWARD! I still can't tell if I could smell his feet of if someone nearby just chucked off their shoes at the old Outback, but I'm willing to give this guy another shot. Maybe I'll slyly suggest growing out his beard.
Time of death-Hospice care has been called in.
UPDATE-So apparently I hadn't been paying enough attention to him this week because I got a text that said, "Good luck to you. You obviously don't have time for me." Whatevs! I replied that I had been really busy. Yadda yadda yadda. I then proceeded to continue doing work. About an hour later I get a text that says, "Like I said, good luck to you." Fine buddy-bye bye! Then tonight I get this text, "Drunk & horny. Wanna play?" Are you serious dude? Followed up with, "I'd love to make you feel good." WTF! Time of death: 10:12pm on Tuesday & AGAIN 9:17pm Thursday.
I get matched up with this guy, we'll call him Gru (the reason why will become apparent soon) & we start to chat. Gru works for a security company & really likes talking on the phone. I am not a big fan of chatting on the phone, I'd much prefer to text. I can get a lot more done while texting than I can while talking on the phone. I'm sorry, but much like the car dealer, my time is valuable. So we continue to text & we have some things in common. Then Gru starts sending sad little texts every once in awhile saying, "Call me?" So I throw him a bone sometimes and actually call him. He chides me for not wanting to talk saying, "Oh God, I'm so sorry I actually want human contact. I'm such a jerk!" He's being a smart ass, but deep down I know it annoys him. We set a date for St. Patrick's Day & I am starting to look forward to it. About a week before the date, Gru starts to get a little weird. One night I go out with a friend (who is a girl, not that it matters) and don't respond to his texts. He accuses me of having a date (little does he know I have 5 planned for the week) and not wanting to spend time with him. Uh what? He says that he really likes me and I'm already starting to have an effect on him. Then I get a pitiful, "Call me?" text. OK fine. I call him and we chat for a little bit. I then tell him that I have some work to do & would rather text when he blurts out, "Well consider our date off." What? Are you serious right now? Because I won't talk to you? "I'm not joking. You're not impressing me." Excuse me? "You're not impressing me at all. Consider the date off." Uh, no problem ass hat! I didn't say that last line, I just hung up.
Spring Break of Dates is a bust & fast forward to last week. I get a Tinder message from Gru. I glance at it & all I see is "giant cock." WTF! Then I read the whole message-Soooo, I was a giant cock. Well that's better. I thought he wanted to do some crazy sexting or something! I reply back that I'm glad he's seen the error of his ways. He blames his shitty attitude on work stress & what not. I understand work stress, but you don't have to be an asshole. Anyway, he is apparently in a much better place & wants to start over. Being the glutton for punishment that I am, I agree. I only got one pity "Call me?" text & I was already in bed, so too bad! Gru had to unexpectedly work from midnight until 8:00am on the day of our date. He was so excited to see me though that he didn't cancel. I got to the establishment first so I went ahead and got us a table. I wait around for about 10 minutes or so and in walks Gru. Boy was I in for a surprise! This was the first time that a date really looked nothing like their picture. Gru is a big bald man (I do like a good bald man!) with absolutely no facial hair except for his humongous eyebrows! The guy in the picture had cute stubble. I've never seen facial hair transform someone so much. This guy looked like a mix between Gru from Despicable Me (without the nose) & the eagle Muppet! (You're pretty impressed I figured out how to link those words to web-sites aren't you.) He also had on a t-shirt that was too big, jeans, & dirty white tennis shoes (you know the kind every guy has for mowing that has green all over them) without the mowing green since he lives in an apartment. This seems to be a trend now with guys coming in without making much of an effort. I must say, I looked cute. I always put forth the effort because, you never know, he could be THE ONE. After I get over the shock that I am about to have lunch with a cartoon character, we settle in to conversation. About 15 minutes in I begin to smell the distinguishable smell of feet. He keeps yammering on about his job & what he was doing from 12-8am and all I can do is smell feet! It really starts to ruin my appetite. I look down just to make sure he hasn't kicked off his dirty shoes right in the middle of our lunch (he hadn't). I try to ignore the smell and we have some more witty banter. I chide him for not caring if he has Pepsi or Coke, he teases me for accidentally squirting him with my tomato. As we leave, I go in for the side hug (I don't want to smell like feet!) & he reaches around for the full body hug. AWKWARD! I still can't tell if I could smell his feet of if someone nearby just chucked off their shoes at the old Outback, but I'm willing to give this guy another shot. Maybe I'll slyly suggest growing out his beard.
Time of death-Hospice care has been called in.
UPDATE-So apparently I hadn't been paying enough attention to him this week because I got a text that said, "Good luck to you. You obviously don't have time for me." Whatevs! I replied that I had been really busy. Yadda yadda yadda. I then proceeded to continue doing work. About an hour later I get a text that says, "Like I said, good luck to you." Fine buddy-bye bye! Then tonight I get this text, "Drunk & horny. Wanna play?" Are you serious dude? Followed up with, "I'd love to make you feel good." WTF! Time of death: 10:12pm on Tuesday & AGAIN 9:17pm Thursday.
Saturday, March 29, 2014
The Biker
I've been back to work this week so that has really slowed down the ol' dating life. However, at one point last night I was having a texting conversation with 5 different guys. Needless to say, that was exhausting! Hopefully all of this "work" will lead to good blog posts in the future.....or a guy I actually WANT to date.
Tonight's date was originally scheduled during the famous Spring Break of Dates that was not to be. We literally (yes I know the correct use of that word) rescheduled this date 5 times. I usually wouldn't even bother, but I really wanted to meet my goal! This guy was a real walking paradox (look who's using the big words this time). As the title would suggest, he is a biker, a Harley biker to be exact. So get that stereotype in your head and now give him a master's degree. It's an interesting combination. He really is a good texter & has a fun personality. He uses phrases such as "damn skippy" and "be there or be square." Call me crazy, but I find those things endearing in guy.
So we are supposed to meet at a Mexican restaurant. I get a text from him on the way that it is a 45 minute wait. OK, it's Saturday, that's what it's going to have to be. However, I can't find a parking place to save my life. I call him to relay this information and he says to pull up & we'll go somewhere else. Now this could be a scary situation, but he says things like "OMG" & watches "Mike & Molly" so obviously he can't be a bad guy. I do an initial drive by & see him standing outside-------in his biker gear! Oh hell! It's one thing to be a biker, but we don't need to flaunt that shit Mr. Damn Skippy! I pull around again to pick him up and we head down the street to another restaurant. I find a parking spot by a miracle of God and we head inside. Guess how long the wait is there--45 minutes! We decide to wait. Now Biker Guy's profile picture had him in sunglasses & this was a good move on his part because he has far apart eyes like a hammerhead shark. That sounds bitchy, but I only speak the truth! While we are waiting Hammerhead Biker Guy informs me that he has been out riding all day-duh! I begin to wonder if he has showered in between the time he has been riding and our date. I look down to check his nails-NOPE, definitely no shower! GUH-ROSS! Let's take a little pride in our appearance here. I put on make-up & perfume for you. The least you can do is shower after you've been on a motorcycle all day! Now while we are waiting a guy comes up to him that he used to work with. They chat for awhile and then he introduces me.....by the wrong name! It was close, but not correct. Imagine your name is Cathy & he introduces you as Cindy. I didn't correct him. However, he kind of redeems himself as more people walk in. We seem to have the same sense of humor & make fun of the exact same people as we are people watching. I begin to think that maybe if I just stand far enough away so that I don't smell him and don't look him in the eye, this could be an OK date.
As the waiter take us to our booth I go in the far seat, but the second I sit down he says, "Could you switch seats with me? I have this phobia about sitting with my back to the door." Uh, OK. I could care less, so I switch seats with him. No further explanation of this phobia occurs. Whatever! He then goes on to talk for the next 45 minutes straight! Topics include, but are not limited to: his dead racist father, his deadbeat brothers that live at home, meth head brother whose children are in the custody of his mother, telling his brother to quit pot just for a year to get his kids back & then you can smoke all you want, him not being a racist, being scared of a credit check when he got his new job, a trip to Sturgis that involved his girlfriend getting in a fight with the people they were staying with and riding a motorcycle all the way home, being passed out drunk when said fight was occurring, having a Samoan roommate so that proves he's not racist, getting hit on a gay bar, living with a woman who had her 22 year old son living with them too. The list could go on! Are these stories to entertain me or scare me away? I really couldn't tell.
As I said earlier though, we did bond over making fun of the same people. Is that really something to build a relationship on? No. Would I want to bring him home to mom? No. Would I mind getting another free meal from him? Maybe. For right now we'll put him on life support.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
The Car Dealer
Most people have a preconceived notion of car dealers. I have the same one-they're sales people (read douche bags), they lie to people all day and have inflated egos. Like I said, I too have this picture of car dealers in my head. That did not however stop me from trying to go out with one. Notice the word TRY in the above sentence. This Spring Break goal is a total bust!
I first encountered The Car Dealer about 3 years ago. For the life of me I can't remember why we never met up (upon further review & how our interaction went this time I can make an educated guess), but I distinctly remember him inviting me over to swim in a pool. Sorry, but our first meeting will not include me in a swimming suit.
Round 2 with The Car Dealer came about when I set my 5 date goal for myself. He happened to pop up on Plenty of Fish again (if you are on POF, please do yourself a favor & get off ASAP!). He immediately said we should meet up, I of course agree, while in my mind calculating how many dates I already had set up this week & getting excited that I might actually make my goal.
We planned to meet up on Saturday after he got off of work which was 7:00. I text him at about 4:00 to see where he wants to meet up, he says he doesn't know but will figure something out. 7:30 rolls around (I haven't eaten) & I text him again. He says that he is still at work. I decide not to wait on him & get something to eat myself. 8:15 and I get a text that he is just now leaving work. I ask if we should reschedule, he says yes for tomorrow since he is off. Great!
Take 2-Sunday 12:30 I text to see what he has in store for us. He says that he doesn't have a clue but will figure something out. I text him at 6:30, 7:20, 8:45, & 10:00 all with no response & yes my texts are getting bitchier by the hour. Now any self-respecting woman would just write the chump off, but I am on a mission dang it! The next morning I send him an e-mail via POF & basically to snoop & see if he's on-line. Low & behold he is! I write that I'm glad to know he's alive. He texts me back saying that (and here's where it gets good) he's alive & OK now that he is out of the hospital. I ask what happened & he says that he fell down the stairs of his house and got a concussion. His roommate could see that I was texting, but didn't know what to say since he hadn't met me. At this point I realize that this is going to make for a fantastic blog entry so I go along. He says that he is off tomorrow (Tuesday) so we can meet for dinner.
Take 3-Tuesday 1:00 I text to see if he has figured out plans for what we should do this evening. He replies, "I don't know yet." I begin to wonder if he has this as an auto-reply on his phone. 5:20 I ask how his day off of work was. He replies that it was boring & he still had people from work calling him (you know he's so important!). I ask if he knows what he wants to do tonight. He says that his head still hurts & he's going to take a one hour nap. I ask if we should just reschedule again (because I know this is going to be good!) and he says, "Whoa! I'm just going to take a quick nap." Cut to 7:20 I ask how his head is, 7:44 I ask if he's fallen again, 9:00 I tell him I feel like I'm on Punk'd & 10:20 tell him to text me when he wakes up.
This morning I ask him how his "hour" nap was. He says, "Ya it was longer than anticipated. I slept through 4 alarms." I said, "Well I guess the third time wasn't the charm." He responds with, "What can I say, I needed rest? You know where I work you could have a lunch date with me." (Oh can I, can I please!) Instead I say, "Well you could say you're sorry." "Nope, will not." Well this is a new one for me! "Dare I ask why?" "Cause I needed sleep." I explain that while I understand that, he has still left me sitting at home 3 times when I could've been out doing other things. My time matters too you know! "Ya but you have whole weekends lol." LOL? What is funny about that? Are you literally laughing out loud that I have "whole weekends" free? I, by the way, do not have "whole weekends" free & spend much of my time still doing work. He says that he can't help it that he's busy & works 75 hours a week. (Yeah, you looked real busy watching the KU game at work last week!) I inform him that working that much is his choice & that I cannot be at his beck & call. He then tells me to come visit him at work. I inform him that I am busy & he says, "Ya whatever. The last time I checked lunch isn't a 12 hour deal. I work 8:30 to 8." (Oh aren't you special!) "Sorry you don't have anytime. Good luck." Wait a minute, what just happened here? I am not willing to come on command and this is what happens? "No days off no holidays off for this guy except for sundays. I have a very difficult schedule. I wish I had your schedule lol." Again with the LOL! I only respond with, "WOW!" "What I mean you have no time and u have a week off. Give me a break lol." "Wow!" "I can make time & I get up at 6 and work til 8 lol." (I now begin to wonder if he has a default ending to every text.) Well nice knowing you! Time of death-10:32 am. (I don't think I've ever had a morning time of death before! He's memorable for so many reasons now!)
I first encountered The Car Dealer about 3 years ago. For the life of me I can't remember why we never met up (upon further review & how our interaction went this time I can make an educated guess), but I distinctly remember him inviting me over to swim in a pool. Sorry, but our first meeting will not include me in a swimming suit.
Round 2 with The Car Dealer came about when I set my 5 date goal for myself. He happened to pop up on Plenty of Fish again (if you are on POF, please do yourself a favor & get off ASAP!). He immediately said we should meet up, I of course agree, while in my mind calculating how many dates I already had set up this week & getting excited that I might actually make my goal.
We planned to meet up on Saturday after he got off of work which was 7:00. I text him at about 4:00 to see where he wants to meet up, he says he doesn't know but will figure something out. 7:30 rolls around (I haven't eaten) & I text him again. He says that he is still at work. I decide not to wait on him & get something to eat myself. 8:15 and I get a text that he is just now leaving work. I ask if we should reschedule, he says yes for tomorrow since he is off. Great!
Take 2-Sunday 12:30 I text to see what he has in store for us. He says that he doesn't have a clue but will figure something out. I text him at 6:30, 7:20, 8:45, & 10:00 all with no response & yes my texts are getting bitchier by the hour. Now any self-respecting woman would just write the chump off, but I am on a mission dang it! The next morning I send him an e-mail via POF & basically to snoop & see if he's on-line. Low & behold he is! I write that I'm glad to know he's alive. He texts me back saying that (and here's where it gets good) he's alive & OK now that he is out of the hospital. I ask what happened & he says that he fell down the stairs of his house and got a concussion. His roommate could see that I was texting, but didn't know what to say since he hadn't met me. At this point I realize that this is going to make for a fantastic blog entry so I go along. He says that he is off tomorrow (Tuesday) so we can meet for dinner.
Take 3-Tuesday 1:00 I text to see if he has figured out plans for what we should do this evening. He replies, "I don't know yet." I begin to wonder if he has this as an auto-reply on his phone. 5:20 I ask how his day off of work was. He replies that it was boring & he still had people from work calling him (you know he's so important!). I ask if he knows what he wants to do tonight. He says that his head still hurts & he's going to take a one hour nap. I ask if we should just reschedule again (because I know this is going to be good!) and he says, "Whoa! I'm just going to take a quick nap." Cut to 7:20 I ask how his head is, 7:44 I ask if he's fallen again, 9:00 I tell him I feel like I'm on Punk'd & 10:20 tell him to text me when he wakes up.
This morning I ask him how his "hour" nap was. He says, "Ya it was longer than anticipated. I slept through 4 alarms." I said, "Well I guess the third time wasn't the charm." He responds with, "What can I say, I needed rest? You know where I work you could have a lunch date with me." (Oh can I, can I please!) Instead I say, "Well you could say you're sorry." "Nope, will not." Well this is a new one for me! "Dare I ask why?" "Cause I needed sleep." I explain that while I understand that, he has still left me sitting at home 3 times when I could've been out doing other things. My time matters too you know! "Ya but you have whole weekends lol." LOL? What is funny about that? Are you literally laughing out loud that I have "whole weekends" free? I, by the way, do not have "whole weekends" free & spend much of my time still doing work. He says that he can't help it that he's busy & works 75 hours a week. (Yeah, you looked real busy watching the KU game at work last week!) I inform him that working that much is his choice & that I cannot be at his beck & call. He then tells me to come visit him at work. I inform him that I am busy & he says, "Ya whatever. The last time I checked lunch isn't a 12 hour deal. I work 8:30 to 8." (Oh aren't you special!) "Sorry you don't have anytime. Good luck." Wait a minute, what just happened here? I am not willing to come on command and this is what happens? "No days off no holidays off for this guy except for sundays. I have a very difficult schedule. I wish I had your schedule lol." Again with the LOL! I only respond with, "WOW!" "What I mean you have no time and u have a week off. Give me a break lol." "Wow!" "I can make time & I get up at 6 and work til 8 lol." (I now begin to wonder if he has a default ending to every text.) Well nice knowing you! Time of death-10:32 am. (I don't think I've ever had a morning time of death before! He's memorable for so many reasons now!)
Monday, March 17, 2014
The Razorback
I finally had date #1 of Spring Break tonight-St. Patrick's Day (the reasons for the delays will come in later posts). We will call him The Razorback. I don't know if any of you have that one guy that you "keep in your back pocket" so to say. You know, the one you can call/text whenever and he'll go out with you or go to a function with you & if you really wanted him to, he'd sleep with you. The Razorback is that guy for me. This sounds bitchy, but I texted him for the sole purpose of meeting my quota for the week.
Going out with The Razorback is what I imagine mother's feel like during child birth after they've already had one kid-I always think it sounds like a great idea at the time, but I've forgotten how painful it is. "Maybe this time it will work." "Why have I not talked to him in so long?" All of these things run through my head anytime I am single for a bit. So I text him & just like a little puppy dog, he's right back sniffing my butt. And then we meet up again and it all comes flooding back & I remember EXACTLY why I never go out with him more than 2 times a year.
The Razorback & I met when I first delved into the on-line dating world. This was probably 8 years ago or so. He was so frustrating! We e-mailed & texted constantly for about 3 months and he never asked me out. My co-workers (yes the same ones that made the Coolest Chick in the World sash) had a pot going for when he would finally ask me out. It was the running joke of our staff meetings. Finally after a solid 3 months of continuous e-mails & texts we set up a date. The day finally comes and I don't hear from him as much as usual that day. I text him before I start to get ready to confirm the time and he says that he forgot about his nephew's baseball game & wants to go to it. Now more confident women would've told him to hit the road after all this jerking around, but not me! We finally reschedule another date about a month later & have an awesome first date! Woo hoo!
Then he starts to get annoying (as if he wasn't already). The Razorback starts telling me how I should do my job, how I should spend money, what kind of car to drive. He thinks he is the expert on EVERYTHING. Then he starts making dates that involve me going shoe shopping with him, even though he already has the shoes picked out. He literally just asked me out because I lived near the shoe store he wanted to go to! That date was the end of our relationship.......for the time being.
However, when we are just e-mailing/texting The Razorback is very attentive. He responds in a timely manner & is always very complimenting. After being alone for awhile, The Razorback starts to sound good again. Wouldn't it be nice to have someone to talk to? It sure is nice to have someone compliment you on a regular basis. Then I get lured back in & go out with him again. This has happened off & on for the past 8 years.
Tonight's date was no different. He still knows everything & is also the BEST at everything. Now little things about him are starting to annoy me-the way his shoulders are always up & it makes him look like he has no neck, the way he laughs with a hee hee (who actually laughs like that?), and the way his lips look when he says some words. He went in for the kiss, I gave him my cheek. I think this may be the end of The Razorback, but who knows when I will get needy again. For right now, time of death-7:55 pm.
Going out with The Razorback is what I imagine mother's feel like during child birth after they've already had one kid-I always think it sounds like a great idea at the time, but I've forgotten how painful it is. "Maybe this time it will work." "Why have I not talked to him in so long?" All of these things run through my head anytime I am single for a bit. So I text him & just like a little puppy dog, he's right back sniffing my butt. And then we meet up again and it all comes flooding back & I remember EXACTLY why I never go out with him more than 2 times a year.
The Razorback & I met when I first delved into the on-line dating world. This was probably 8 years ago or so. He was so frustrating! We e-mailed & texted constantly for about 3 months and he never asked me out. My co-workers (yes the same ones that made the Coolest Chick in the World sash) had a pot going for when he would finally ask me out. It was the running joke of our staff meetings. Finally after a solid 3 months of continuous e-mails & texts we set up a date. The day finally comes and I don't hear from him as much as usual that day. I text him before I start to get ready to confirm the time and he says that he forgot about his nephew's baseball game & wants to go to it. Now more confident women would've told him to hit the road after all this jerking around, but not me! We finally reschedule another date about a month later & have an awesome first date! Woo hoo!
Then he starts to get annoying (as if he wasn't already). The Razorback starts telling me how I should do my job, how I should spend money, what kind of car to drive. He thinks he is the expert on EVERYTHING. Then he starts making dates that involve me going shoe shopping with him, even though he already has the shoes picked out. He literally just asked me out because I lived near the shoe store he wanted to go to! That date was the end of our relationship.......for the time being.
However, when we are just e-mailing/texting The Razorback is very attentive. He responds in a timely manner & is always very complimenting. After being alone for awhile, The Razorback starts to sound good again. Wouldn't it be nice to have someone to talk to? It sure is nice to have someone compliment you on a regular basis. Then I get lured back in & go out with him again. This has happened off & on for the past 8 years.
Tonight's date was no different. He still knows everything & is also the BEST at everything. Now little things about him are starting to annoy me-the way his shoulders are always up & it makes him look like he has no neck, the way he laughs with a hee hee (who actually laughs like that?), and the way his lips look when he says some words. He went in for the kiss, I gave him my cheek. I think this may be the end of The Razorback, but who knows when I will get needy again. For right now, time of death-7:55 pm.
Saturday, March 15, 2014
Coolest Chick in the World!
Well dates #2 & 3 had to be rescheduled from this weekend so now I'm booked tomorrow (Sunday), Monday & Tuesday. Whew! It's getting hard to keep track of these dates, while at the same time making for a pretty lackluster weekend. While checking my bank statement today I looked at my security phrase. It is the title of this post. Whoa! This chick sure does think a lot of herself doesn't she, you might be saying. Well I'm not the one who said it.
I met Baldy on Yahoo! Personals. This was MANY years ago. In fact, it was so long ago, I recently came across him on another dating site and for some reason he didn't remember dating me. Apparently I didn't make as big of an impact as I thought. I think Baldy and I went on two dates. Date #1 was to Brio. He was totally nervous (which I find endearing). He talked about how his brother's girlfriend had freshly shaved his head for the date. I appreciated his candor and the effort he put in.
Date #2 is where things start to head south. We went to Dave & Buster's. I was dominating at Skee Ball & he kept gambling away his tokens on those machines that make you strategically place a coin so that others will drop. As we were walking around we saw the photo booth. One of the options is to morph two faces to see what your children will look like. He thought this was a fantastic idea. I was not so thrilled with the idea. It was his money, so I went ahead and posed for the picture. Our daughter looked HIDEOUS! You may think that this was the time of death & it was close-definitely a life support support moment. However the end is close! After the date we parted ways & I was the lucky recipient of our alien baby. I hadn't really talked to him very much after that and a few days later I received an e-mail from him. It basically said that he had a really great time & missed talking to me. The ending line is what really got me. He ended his e-mail with "I really think your just the coolest chick in the world!" Besides the obvious spelling error, I mean, I can't date a guy who says that! My co-workers made a sash for me that says "Coolest chick in the world" and made me wear it for a day. It's still hanging in my closet......along with all of my bridesmaid dresses. Time of death-2:17 pm.
I met Baldy on Yahoo! Personals. This was MANY years ago. In fact, it was so long ago, I recently came across him on another dating site and for some reason he didn't remember dating me. Apparently I didn't make as big of an impact as I thought. I think Baldy and I went on two dates. Date #1 was to Brio. He was totally nervous (which I find endearing). He talked about how his brother's girlfriend had freshly shaved his head for the date. I appreciated his candor and the effort he put in.
Date #2 is where things start to head south. We went to Dave & Buster's. I was dominating at Skee Ball & he kept gambling away his tokens on those machines that make you strategically place a coin so that others will drop. As we were walking around we saw the photo booth. One of the options is to morph two faces to see what your children will look like. He thought this was a fantastic idea. I was not so thrilled with the idea. It was his money, so I went ahead and posed for the picture. Our daughter looked HIDEOUS! You may think that this was the time of death & it was close-definitely a life support support moment. However the end is close! After the date we parted ways & I was the lucky recipient of our alien baby. I hadn't really talked to him very much after that and a few days later I received an e-mail from him. It basically said that he had a really great time & missed talking to me. The ending line is what really got me. He ended his e-mail with "I really think your just the coolest chick in the world!" Besides the obvious spelling error, I mean, I can't date a guy who says that! My co-workers made a sash for me that says "Coolest chick in the world" and made me wear it for a day. It's still hanging in my closet......along with all of my bridesmaid dresses. Time of death-2:17 pm.
Friday, March 14, 2014
Blast from the Past
As some of my readers may know, I made it a personal goal to have 5 dates with 5 different people over Spring Break. It's not looking too good right now for various reasons-1 whack job, 1 stomach flu, etc. My date for this evening is stomach flu (don't worry, we've rescheduled) so I thought it would be a great time to blog about a date of the past.
This date is one of my all time favorites, and by favorites I mean most memorable-and not in a good way! I met this guy on eHarmony. I don't pay for that or any on-line dating sites for that matter (this may be the key reason for the quality of dates I've been on), but eHarmony has "Free Communication" weekends every once in awhile. As a side note, you still can't see the pictures of the people you are matched with during "Free Communication" weekend-totally shady! Anyway, I get matched with this guy and we seem to have some things in common. We exchange actual e-mail addresses and pictures, I mean I want to see who I've invested some time in! The minute I open up his picture I think he looks familiar. Turns out this guy goes to my church. I ever so slyly ask him if he is a Eucharistic Minister & of course he is. We set up to meet at Cheeseburger in Paradise (such a fine establishment that will come into play later). We sit at a little table by the window and chat it up. He tells me that I have a beautiful singing voice, yadda yadda yadda. Eventually his work comes up. Now I already know that he is a security guard at a hospital, however I didn't know that he had recently completed his degree from, what for it, DeVry. He then informs me that he is currently over $100,000 in debt from student loans. Uh, hold on there a minute. How many degrees do you have? Just the one you say? So I then ask if he will get a raise at work for completing his degree. NOPE! What the hell! Things are not looking good for the eucharistic minister at this point.
I continue to humor him with stories from my job all the while I am picturing him with $ floating above his forehead. Strike #2 comes about halfway through dinner when he subtly tells me that he lives with his mom. Now, I lived with my parents until I was 25, so I'm not really one to judge, but he was in his 30s at this point, so I'm going to go right ahead and judge him! As dinner is ending he starts talking about a second date. For some reason I am still open to this, maybe because he wants to go see a Broadway show and that is really how to get me to go anywhere with anyone. About this time he also starts talking to the bartender about bar tending school. I think to myself, "Do you really need anymore 'student loan debt'?" But I keep this to myself. He talks about how fun it would be to be a bartender & meet all kinds of people & how the extra money would be nice. Then he asks for an application! Let me repeat that, he asks the bartender for an application to work at Cheeseburger in Paradise while we are on a date! Time of death-8:32 pm.
This date is one of my all time favorites, and by favorites I mean most memorable-and not in a good way! I met this guy on eHarmony. I don't pay for that or any on-line dating sites for that matter (this may be the key reason for the quality of dates I've been on), but eHarmony has "Free Communication" weekends every once in awhile. As a side note, you still can't see the pictures of the people you are matched with during "Free Communication" weekend-totally shady! Anyway, I get matched with this guy and we seem to have some things in common. We exchange actual e-mail addresses and pictures, I mean I want to see who I've invested some time in! The minute I open up his picture I think he looks familiar. Turns out this guy goes to my church. I ever so slyly ask him if he is a Eucharistic Minister & of course he is. We set up to meet at Cheeseburger in Paradise (such a fine establishment that will come into play later). We sit at a little table by the window and chat it up. He tells me that I have a beautiful singing voice, yadda yadda yadda. Eventually his work comes up. Now I already know that he is a security guard at a hospital, however I didn't know that he had recently completed his degree from, what for it, DeVry. He then informs me that he is currently over $100,000 in debt from student loans. Uh, hold on there a minute. How many degrees do you have? Just the one you say? So I then ask if he will get a raise at work for completing his degree. NOPE! What the hell! Things are not looking good for the eucharistic minister at this point.
I continue to humor him with stories from my job all the while I am picturing him with $ floating above his forehead. Strike #2 comes about halfway through dinner when he subtly tells me that he lives with his mom. Now, I lived with my parents until I was 25, so I'm not really one to judge, but he was in his 30s at this point, so I'm going to go right ahead and judge him! As dinner is ending he starts talking about a second date. For some reason I am still open to this, maybe because he wants to go see a Broadway show and that is really how to get me to go anywhere with anyone. About this time he also starts talking to the bartender about bar tending school. I think to myself, "Do you really need anymore 'student loan debt'?" But I keep this to myself. He talks about how fun it would be to be a bartender & meet all kinds of people & how the extra money would be nice. Then he asks for an application! Let me repeat that, he asks the bartender for an application to work at Cheeseburger in Paradise while we are on a date! Time of death-8:32 pm.
Monday, March 10, 2014
I Should've Done This Years Ago
As the title of this post suggests, I should've started this blog YEARS ago! This is my first excursion into the blogosphere and I'm sure I have a ton to learn, however, I think I need to get these stories out there before I get too old to remember them! If the font is too large I apologize, but like the rest of me, my eyes are getting old.
What's up with the name of my blog you may be asking? Well, let me tell you! I have been on TONS of dates-great dates, good dates, bad dates, long dates, short dates-you name it, I've done it. I have entertained friends for countless hours about various guys in my life. I usually give them nicknames-to protect the innocent, or not so innocent. However, since I am still single, there always comes that one moment in a relationship/date where I think, "Yep, that's why you're still single." No, I'm not talking about myself, I'm talking about my partner. I always check my watch and call a "time of death" if you will as if I were a doctor. (Side note, when I was in middle school I always wanted to be a doctor. Maybe I still get a little thrill of thinking of having that much power?) Am I being petty or flippant? Possibly. But it is what it is. I want this blog to be educational if not empowering.
Now don't worry, if I find Mr. Right I have plenty of previous dating horror stories to fill up this blog. But for right now, I will blog on current dates-----starting with this weekend!
Happy dating!
What's up with the name of my blog you may be asking? Well, let me tell you! I have been on TONS of dates-great dates, good dates, bad dates, long dates, short dates-you name it, I've done it. I have entertained friends for countless hours about various guys in my life. I usually give them nicknames-to protect the innocent, or not so innocent. However, since I am still single, there always comes that one moment in a relationship/date where I think, "Yep, that's why you're still single." No, I'm not talking about myself, I'm talking about my partner. I always check my watch and call a "time of death" if you will as if I were a doctor. (Side note, when I was in middle school I always wanted to be a doctor. Maybe I still get a little thrill of thinking of having that much power?) Am I being petty or flippant? Possibly. But it is what it is. I want this blog to be educational if not empowering.
Now don't worry, if I find Mr. Right I have plenty of previous dating horror stories to fill up this blog. But for right now, I will blog on current dates-----starting with this weekend!
Happy dating!
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